So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
