Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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