Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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