Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
