Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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