going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
