Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
