Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
