I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
