ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
