At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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