he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize