what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
