dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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