Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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