She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize