you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
