guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
