Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
