I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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