Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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