Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
