Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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