The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
