9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
