The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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