Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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