I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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