I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
3pm strippers are depressing
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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