There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
