took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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