Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize