Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
