she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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