I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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