guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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