I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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