how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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