Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
