her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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