i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
