he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
