why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
