as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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