In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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