FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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