i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Actions speak louder than pants.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
