Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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