What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
