tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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