Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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