He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
