My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
