I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
