So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
