i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
