I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
