We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
