I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
