Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
