I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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