Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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