gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
