when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize