Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
