just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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