I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
