I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
why is half of my head shaved?
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