i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize