i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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